


the weight

by justlikeswitchblades



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 00:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10605900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justlikeswitchblades/pseuds/justlikeswitchblades
Summary: “Mom? Yeah, we just landed. Is Dad okay?"Shuuzou pulls the phone away from his mouth to curse. Tatsuya's heart drops into his stomach.





	

**Author's Note:**

> tagged AU though this could reasonably continue on from canon...nijihimu at USC! sorry for the angst but happy 4/12!

“I don't understand why you always take the window seat,” Tatsuya smiles at Shuuzou from the aisle, still a little hazy with sleep for their Sunday morning red-eye back home. Shuuzou frowns, scenery lit with the salmon hues of sunrise starting to move in his window, and pulls the shade down, sitting up with a rigid spine.

“Makes the spike in anxiety spike all the more visceral when we leave,” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Makes it easier for me to calm down when we're back on the ground.”

His hand drops into the no-man’s land of blue leather and unbuckled seatbelt between them. His chest is tight with anxiety and heavy with increasing air pressure, but Tatsuya takes his hand, thumb rubbing circles into his skin. Soon enough, his grip slackens with sleep, head drooping forward onto his chest. Shuuzou closes his eyes. Sleep doesn't come, but the soft ding of the seatbelt sign does. He sighs, then takes his laptop out of his bag, opening up a Word doc with a half-finished econ paper inside.

They touch down in L.A. a little over two hours later, Tatsuya feeling a little more rested, Shuuzou, not so much. He turns his phone back on as they roll along the runway, listens to a voicemail he'd received while they were up in the air, then dials the number back, frantic.

“Mom? Yeah, we just landed. Is Dad okay? ...You’re kidding me. He was admitted last _night?_ ” Shuuzou pulls the phone away from his mouth to curse.

“Okay. Yeah--Mom, please, we can talk about the game later. I'll be there as soon as I can.” He jams his thumb onto the screen to end the call, but he's already gone pale. Tatsuya's heart drops into his stomach, though he doesn't dare show it.

“I can get some of the guys to help with your stuff,” He tells Shuuzou quietly. “Take an Uber to the hospital.”

“Yeah,” Shuuzou nods, vacant and distracted. “Thanks.”

Tatsuya pulls Shuuzou’s suitcase down from the overhead bin, heaves his backpack onto his shoulder. Shuuzou stays close to the team when they’re in the gate, taking a second to whisper to the coaches so they know the bus doesn't have to wait for him. He leads the pack at first as per usual, but his pace is a little quicker. By the time they reach the moving walkway, he's jogging down the strip, and Tatsuya’s fist clenches on the handle of his suitcase, ducking his head so he doesn't have to watch Shuuzou’s maroon hoodie disappear.

The team bus takes its time in the early morning traffic, and Tatsuya has to jump into his car when they get on campus, but he still manages to find an open spot near the bottom of the hospital’s parking structure when he gets there. The hospital is labyrinthian, and he nearly gets lost despite Shuuzou texting the wing and room number to him. He idles at the end of the hallway, not sure what to do with himself. He's been to the ER before, and he knows Shuuzou’s family well enough, but he's never been in a situation like this. He could say hi, but what if there's a doctor present? How bad is it? What's appropriate? He scuffs his shoe along a line in the tile.

In less than an hour, Shuuzou’s walking down the hallway towards him.

“Cancer’s back,” He sighs, rubbing at his jaw. “More aggressive than before. They want to keep an eye on him.”

Tatsuya nods along slowly with his words. “Do your mom and the kids need a ride home?”

Shuuzou shakes his head. “They drove.”

“I could bring the car around for you?”

“I'm sure I'll be spending enough time here in the future. I'd rather change up the scenery for now.”

Tatsuya figures that quiet won't do either of them much good. He settles on a broadcast of the how the Giants are doing in Arizona, playing on low volume. His hand rests atop the gear shift, right within Shuuzou’s reach, but Shuuzou only stares ahead at the glove compartment.

After a moment, Tatsuya grabs his hand anyways, bringing his knuckles to his lips. He kisses him almost desperately; it's the only thing he knows he can do for him right now. 

Back in their apartment, Shuuzou surveys the bedroom numbly. Unpacked luggage, last week's laundry. He opens his mouth, and all that comes out is a sob. He collapses into bed, shaking, sobbing. Tatsuya follows him, rushing in from the other room. His arms lock around him in a tight squeeze, then loosen, hands rubbing his back. Shuuzou clutches at him weakly; there isn't much energy he can muster. He's crying so hard it feels like he's about to throw up, or choke, muffled sobs turning wordless, face buried in Tatsuya's shoulder, though it slowly tapers off, interrupted by the occasional hiccup. His face aches, but Tatsuya’s grip is still firm, feeling like the only thing in the universe that's keeping him held together.

“It's not fair,” He sniffs, voice hoarse. “He won't let me take any school off; he says it's too soon to be thinking like that. It's not fair.”

“Shuu…”

“I just--” Shuuzou takes a breath, wiping at his eyes with the cuff of his hoodie. “Mom took so much of it on herself last time. I'm an adult now. I want to help out, too.

“How long have they known?”

“About a month or so,” Shuuzou looks down. “They didn't want me to worry about it when we were on our winning streak.”

“Well, we got seeded well, didn't we? There's no way we won't make it into the Sweet Sixteen.”

“But if he isn't healthy enough to watch me play, then what, Tatsuya, is the fucking point?”

Tatsuya’s face morphs into something steely, unreadable. Shuuzou curses again under his breath. He presses his cheek to his in a small gesture of affection.

“Sorry, that was mean. It's just, I wasn't even thinking about playing when we first moved here to get better treatment for him, and now I have to be captain of a team _and_ deal with championship pressure? And there's still school on top of that?” He takes a shallow breath, feeling like the tears could start up again at any given minute. “I don't even know where to begin with how much I could fuck up.”

“For what it's worth,” Tatsuya sighs softly, fondly, combing through Shuuzou’s hair. “You're not the kind of person who gives up so easily. I think your dad has a lot of faith in you. You could take some time off to be with him. But there's still a lot of uncertainty there if you do. With his condition, but also, with you.”

Shuuzou swallows. “What makes you so sure?”

“Who’s to say they'll still honor your scholarship if you want to come back? But if you stay on track, you'll graduate on time. You'll get drafted, and no matter your pick, your salary will still help get rid of any worries about medical bills, or your siblings’ college funds. It's a fine line to walk between your career, being selfish, and selfless. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, especially you, but you're still going to have to walk it.”

“I'm selfish for wanting you to stay, I know,” Tatsuya adds with a smile, though it's not without a little pain. “It's hard to imagine the team without you.”

“I can't believe you're trying to talk _me_ out of an impulsive decision” Shuuzou smiles a little. “I guess I don't know everything. And a championship title _would_ be nice, but. It's a lot to process right now.”

“You don't have to find an answer in a day,” Tatsuya presses a kiss to Shuuzou’s forehead. “And I hope you don't feel pressured to. But, if anything else...it could make for good TV. More drama to milk, more people rooting for you.”

“Fuck off,” Shuuzou laughs, and for the first time that morning, the weight doesn't feel so heavy on his chest. He kisses Tatsuya back. 

“C’mon,” Tatsuya sits up after a moment, tugging on his wrist. “I don't want you to do too much today; I'll unpack and get food. But you might feel a little better after you shower.”

“Maybe, if you join me.”

Tatsuya’s brow furrows a little. “I didn't think you'd be in the mood right now--”

“Not like that,” Shuuzou sits up and smiles, rapping his knuckles against Tatsuya's bicep. “I just don't want to be alone.”

“I hope you don't ever feel like that,” Tatsuya slips an arm around his shoulders, kissing his hair. “I'm in this with you.”


End file.
